Love Is A State of Being

Love Is A State of Being

By: Miriam Cohen

Chesed is not just an act of giving; it's a state of being. It’s not merely the act itself but the energy that drives it. So how do we align ourselves with this energy?

Chesed is often likened to water, which flows naturally. This flowing nature symbolizes our inner wellspring of essence. Just as G-d constantly nourishes and vitalizes the world from a place of love and flow, we too are called to embody this flow of loving energy.

Consider how water flows from a higher place to a lower place, much like how an airplane view reveals only the beauty of the landscape below. Similarly, when we truly feel love in our hearts, we can share that love with others, creating a continuous flow of love, connection, and oneness in the world.

Rather than evaluating and judging, we should seek to find the inherent value and heart message in others. By being kinder and more unconditionally loving towards ourselves, our giving comes from a place of flow and alignment. When love is conditional or based on a depleted sense of self, it exhausts us and distorts our giving.

Avraham's Sons: Yitzchak and Yishmael

Avraham had two sons: Yitzchak, representing Gevurah (strength), and Yishmael, representing Chesed in an unrectified form. Yishmael, born to Hagar, is described in the Zohar as the "chef of gold," emerging from the process of refining gold, symbolizing Chesed. However, this form of giving can become problematic when it is unrectified, as Yishmael was known for his violence and anger, prompting Sarah to separate him from Yitzchak.

Unrectified Chesed results in giving that comes from a place of depletion rather than abundance. This type of giving can be more about fulfilling the giver’s own needs rather than genuinely benefiting the recipient, leading to codependent behavior.

The Significance of Circumcision

Yishmael’s “half circumcision” symbolizes the incomplete removal of the layers that block our essence. When Moshiach comes, G-d will "circumcise our hearts," removing layers of anger, fear, and suppressed emotions, revealing our pure, G-dly essence.

Recognizing and Healing Unhealthy Giving

To start giving from a healthy place, we need self-awareness and emotional honesty. Signs of unhealthy giving include feeling depleted, resentful, and entangled in others’ emotions. Codependency often stems from childhood experiences where one felt responsible for a parent’s feelings, leading to a lack of self-identity and an external locus of validation.

To heal, we must connect with our G-dly soul, which holds infinite love, patience, and compassion. This internal connection allows us to set boundaries, forgive ourselves, and act according to our values and intuition.

Healthy G-dly/Soulful Giving

Giving from a place of fullness and self-responsibility is empowering. It builds self-confidence and self-esteem, transforming us into partners with G-d in our acts of giving. This way of giving brings aliveness and fulfillment, enabling us to achieve more than we thought possible.

Chesed, in essence, is more about the giver than the recipient. It stems from a place of inherent kindness and compassion rooted in our divine nature. By nurturing this quality within ourselves, we align with the ever-flowing, life-giving energy of Chesed.